My advice to all women is that no woman should be involved with any partner unless they strongly love themselves first and only themselves.  A woman who is weak in mind, body and spirit would only stand to be hurt by another in misguided love.  For some reason, these type of women attract the weaker opposite because they believe that by asserting themselves to be the stronger one, they feel better about themselves at the expense of the so-called weak woman.  But all along the woman does not realize that she is indeed the one with the higher power.  By some circumstance in her life, she had been falsely led to believe that she has no self worth.  Thus, it is easier to manipulate a weak women in order to establish superiority or control.

So I say to this weak woman, break yourself from this false bondage.  You have no need of this partner who holds you back, who makes you feel worthless,belittles you, dismisses your dreams and does not worship you in the way you are due as his own goddess.  The weak attracts the weak.  Thus in the same concept, the strong attracts the strong.  Realize that you are a Queen in your own right and your King will come to serve you as you deserve.  You will then serve each other in perfect love and trust.  Believe it and it will come.   Do whatever you can to claim your rightful place:  seek counseling, join a group, pray, read self-help books, ANYTHING to break away and find that magic and power that has always been in you.  You owe it yourself to find the happiness you deserve.  You don’t need a certain someone for that, only you have that control.  Don’t be afraid, for you are Woman.

And I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone to spend any New Year celebrations with.  I’m already 41 years old and already very settled into my “independent lifestyle.”  I think I’m one of those lonely hearts; I don’t think I’m meant to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.  I had one great love in my life.  It hasn’t worked out and I don’t think it ever will.  It’s going to take a long time to get over that, even though I’m pretty much over him.  I’m very capable of love but I’m not sure I’m capable of allowing myself to fall in love.  I’m not afraid of getting hurt, but I am very afraid of opening my heart to love.  Not sure how to explain that; guess it’s not too clear to me because I’m not exactly too keen on examing that part of my mind.  How long does it take to get over that?  Should I even bother looking for dates?  Is it dishonest and deceitful to look for someone I could like to get over another man?  Do I deserve another chance at love?  Do I even want it?  I don’t know, but I do know that I want to meet someone, even if it means nothing more than friendship or even if it doesn’t work out.

Yeah….I can see myself 10 years from now, busy and comfortable in life and no love to show for it.  I’m meant for something else, to help others and having someone in my life would only distract me from it.  I’m not sure if being alone is worth it.  If I had to choose, I would rather fall in love with a man who can make me laugh and smile inside.  But then again, I’d feel guilty for being so selfish.  Still, however it turns out for me, there are no regrets.

Happy New Year everyone.

So I thought maybe getting a man to move in with me and playing house with him would be a solution. I thought no one would take up on the offer right away and that I had a little time to get used to the idea. Yeah, I forgot I was dealing with men here, who take things at face value and aren’t like women analyzing every single thing. Silly me. I got offers from a few men who were move-in ready. Like, right now ready. Only I wasn’t ready like I thought I would be. Was I scared of taking that step? Not really. What I was scared of was the realization that I’ve been independent for so long that I didn’t know how to share a home with someone yet. I can have a man over to hang out or sleep over but I don’t think I can have him even putting his socks and underwear in my dresser drawers, even if he only lived with me part-time.

Hence, rethink and revise this little endeavor of mine. I sure didn’t like the idea of telling these guys that no, I’m not going to go through with it. But hey, it’s my home I’m practically opening up here and that’s precious to me. I realize now that I need to take it slow, that I need to get to find and know and appreciate who I’m going to meet. I think I really do need to fall in love. And that’s a bit scary. But I’m willing to give it another try.

What kind of emails am I getting? I’ve gotten a whole lot of friendly emails from men who just wanted to say how much they liked my profile and wished me the best in my search. What surprised me the most is the amount of responses I’ve gotten from intelligent, educated men who knew the basics of spelling, grammar and communication. What also surprised me was the number of responses from men who have white collar professions. As a nice little bonus, I’ve made a few friends I have yet to meet.

So I’m curious. What is it about my new profile that gives me different results this time around? I’m not complaining, but where ARE the weirdos and perverts? Could it be that I come across as a strong, self assured type of personality that intimidates these kinds of men? It sorts of unofficially proves my theory that these losers look for and prey on women who seem to have low self esteem, are weak and don’t know what they want because they know they’ll have a chance at getting some with these poor girls. Something for women to think about out there: Love and take care of you and yourself first before looking for a man. Weak women want a man in order to feel secure and that spells trouble. They don’t realize the goddesses in themselves that have always been there, and always will be there if they just free and strengthen themselves. Love comes easy for those who already love themselves. Me? I just wanted a man to have fun with and occasionally help me out with life’s inconveniences, like mowing the yard, washing my truck and hanging up the blinds on my window. Love will come easy on its own time for me and I’m a very patient woman.

Why am I blogging about this? Well, it seems that the way I wrote my profile was a little different than what the guys looking online were used to. I found my inbox bombarded with emails from men, most who were not necessarily interested in taking up my offer, but simply wanted to let me know how great they thought my profile was. They loved how I just bluntly put my expectations out there and said it was refreshing to come across someone who knew what she wanted. Several liked the way I put “updates” on my profile and I think they check up on my profile every now and then because I’ve gotten responses from those same men commenting on my updates. So this is for the guys who liked my updates so they can keep up with me if they so choose. If no one reads this, that’s ok; because at least this will be a journal of my search for a yang…to my yin.

 ~~Purple Yin